Stepping into the New World

A healthy start of a new relationship assures a smooth sail throughout the life. A newly married couples may experience many hurdles but the key is to face and resolve them together. A little extra effort in the beginning of your married life is sure to pay you well forever.

The magic of forming a new relationship after wedding can burst like soap bubble, if you don't have the ability to nurture the bond of love. While first five years of marriage are crucial for a couple, these years can also lay strong foundation for rest of the life. Learn the tips to nourish your relationship and maintain the constant existence of love in your wedded life.

"Marriage brings two individuals together and put them in the same boat to sail through the ocean of life. The first few miles of this journey play significant role and are the real tests for both the individuals. A newly married couple can face problems due to a number of factors, which can be resolved with participation from both sides. Keeping in mind the fact that personality of one partner can differ from another, there is nee to walk on the middle road to keep up the integrity of this relationship."

 Here are few tips for newly married couple to resolve the problems they can identify with.

1.Marriage at Early Age

It might be due to an affair or circumstances that you showed enthusiasm for getting married at an early age. Immature minds and incomplete understanding of responsibilities can often introduce the gap between two people. In order to tackle this problem, you can follow the route of marriage counseling or go through the marriage related books and videos to accumulate knowledge about the life ahead.

2. Individuals from Different backgrounds

You might differ from your partner in terms of caste, religion and culture or their might be linguistic and geographical differences. All these factors can create voids due to non-following of each other's rituals and moral values. You need to help your partner to make him or her familiar with your culture and this demand for a lot of time and patience.

3. Who Has the Authority?

This is one of the most common problems arising in the life of a newly married couple. Often there are conflicts over winning the authority in house. Remember that marriage is not the war ground and co-operation between two individuals is required to keep your relation on the right track.

4. Clash between the Ambitions

Other set of problems arises, when both the members of the new family are ambitious (read overambitious) and non-fulfilment of ambitions of any of the two individuals can trigger the feuds. The solution is to respect each other's ambitions and celebrate the success of each other, rather than developing an inferiority complex.

5. Developing the Sexual Bond

Sex is an integral part of married life and you should celebrate this fact with your partner, right from your honeymoon days. However, you need to learn about each other's preferences for getting involved in a sexual encounter. Also, sexual incapability of any one of the two people must be resolved with peace and not by violating your privacy.

6. Devoting Time towards Marriage

Time is an essential entity, which must be utilized carefully by young married people. Apart from spending time in professional life, you need to reserve time for your partner. Go out on dates and candle light dinners in a frequent manner and shower your love and emotions on each other.

7. Money Never Comes before Love

Money issues are also responsible for souring the taste of newly discovered relationship of husband and wife. Even if you are not comfortable with unwanted expenditures of your partner, you need to discuss the issue, without losing temper. Plan a monthly budget and don't forget to save for the future.

A newly married couple is responsible for a healthy beginning, which not only affects their lives, but also the moral values of the society. Also, the next step of marriage is parenthood and only a successful couple can prepare themselves for this new phase of life.

If you are on the onset of a new relationship, it would be a great deal if you get to know what your man wants actually. 

Marriage Rules Myths

Here are some Marriage Rules Myths... to follow or not to follow?

bliss is upon our making..:-)

got this from http://searchwarp.com/swa345210.htm

My wife and I just celebrated our 32nd wedding anniversary. I realize this doesn't make me a marital expert, but I do believe I have some small bit of inside info on how marriage should --and does or does not--work-

For years I thought the way my wife and I handled some of our issues meant we weren't like most married couples, as the popular marital tips just didn't seem to work for us. Like, "You're too young to get married." Well, 20 (my wife) and 19 (me) may have seemed young, but it didn't guarantee a marital breakup. I know people who waited until their late 20s or even early 30s to get married, and that didn't prevent them from getting a divorce. And if waiting until you're older guarantees a successful marriage, then those who get married after divorce shouldn't have any problems because they're older now. Right? RIGHT??  

1. Old Rule: Never go to bed angry. 

Sorry, I never followed that one. Neither did my wife, probably a lot less than I did (she can hold a grudge much, much better than I can). Conventional wisdom says that if you don't resolve conflicts immediately, you'll harbor resentment and anger that will eventually lead to further fighting. Don't tell that to Dr. John Gottman, professor emeritus of psychology at the University of Washington and author of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. "Often, nothing gets resolved - the partners just get more and more furious." When people are overwhelmed by emotions like anger, they experience what psychologists call "flooding," a physiological response that leaves their hearts pounding and their concentration shot, to say nothing of their ability to resolve arguments fairly or amicably. So what's the better solution? Waiting until you've had a chance to calm down and discuss issues rationally. You're not ignoring your problem; you're putting it off until you can more effectively deal with it. So out with the old and in with the  

New Rule: Sleep on it. 

2. Old Rule: Growing older means you grow apart and fall out of love. 

I've heard that one before, especially from people who ended up getting divorced. The phrase itself is an oxymoron. If you "grow" apart, something that happens slowly, you can't "fall" out of love, something that happens quickly. As we grow older, we grow as people. Changes occur in our likes, our beliefs, our personalities. 

Staying in touch with each other as we age ensures that we grow closer, not farther apart. Marital bliss isn't always about feelings. Most of the time it's about choosing to do what's necessary to maintain and improve the relationship.  

New Rule: Growing older together means both spouses work hard to grow closer and stay in love.  

3. Old Rule: As you get older, sex becomes less important in a marriage. 

Excuse me a second. *hysterical laughter* Okay, now where was I? Oh, yes. Some would have us believe that older people don't need sex, don't even want sex. Really? And what about all those Viagra ads? Who are they for, the 20-something crowd? Aside from procreation, sex was designed as a significant part of what helps keep a marriage together (society's cavalier attitude that sex is for anybody-anywhere-anytime has changed the original design, but that's another story for another time). Sometimes you want less, sometimes you want more. Sometimes the urge comes on you like gangbusters, sometimes it has to be coaxed and coddled. But it's still there, and it's still good, and anybody who tells you otherwise is just a young punk who's jealous that old people not only still want sex, they know how to make it work! And no, this is not just the male point of view speaking. Studies show that women who have gone through menopause report their sex life is on track, and in some cases better than ever.  

New Rule: Sex is ALWAYS important in a marriage!

 4. Old Rule: Empty nest means the end of the marriage. 

When our younger daughter left home, we were told by many people, "Oh, you'll miss them! You'll be so lonely after they're gone!" My wife and I both agree now that this is a lie straight from the pit of Hell. We love our children dearly, but with it just being the two of us, we've found our schedule is based around us, not the kids. And how selfish is that? We go where we want, when we want, and we don't have to worry about upsetting the schedule if we do a last-minute change (which we do much more often than we used to)!  

New Rule: Empty nest means new freedom in the marriage.

5. Old Rule: Every man has a midlife crisis. 

You can spot the poor guy a mile away. He's got a combover that doesn't even come close to hiding that growing bald spot. The shirt is unbuttoned halfway down to a protruding paunch, while gold chains around his neck try unsuccessfully to hide the graying hairs on his scrawny chest. He's got the keys to a shiny red sports car in one hand and his daughter holding on to the other...no, wait, that's not his daughter, and it's definitely not his wife! Please. This stereotype exists mostly on television and in the movies. While some men do go a little overboard, each of us, both men and women, reach a point where we realize we're not immortal, we're not invulnerable, and we're not getting any younger. The time spent reexamining our lives, deciding what's important and what's not, and rearranging our priorities, some are now calling "reinvention". But the changes being made are not clean sweeps and fresh starts; it's more like cleaning house and getting rid of the junk than buying a new house and getting all new everything. Making life changes at the midpoint not only brings new focus to the individual, it can breathe new life into a marriage. Being more in control of one's life is like looking through a once-dirty window after it's been cleaned. Everything looks new, clear, fresh--and that can include a spouse who is also changing for the better. Who needs an affair?  

New Rule: Every person goes through reinvention, and it's no crisis.

Frankly, I wish I'd known about the New Rules back when we got married. Some of our crises might have been averted, or at least toned down in severity. On the other hand, we are who we are because of what we've lived through. And as much garbage as we've had to deal with in our 32 years of marriage, I'd still ask her to marry me and be willing to go through it all again, because she's oh, so worth it.
 

our 1st month anniversary celeb

Malam Jumaat (which is a phrase for Thursday Nite - after sunset) in Melayu terms is a

"Giggling topic where only the Married ones only knew whats this all about..- it explains about a 'Special nite' in a week encouraged by the Islam for married couples in keeping their romance alive. hehe in other words- a nite of passion for lovers or subtlely we call it " a romantic nite" hahaha -   ... "

heehee... as a newly-wed; only now i begin to comprehend what the giggles & whispers all about hehehehe...

Well my Malam Jumaat started with us celebrating our 1st month anniversary dinner.. hehe

good thing being newlyweds; we got heaps of wedding gifts including makan2 voucher to fancy dinner restaurants! heheh.. so basically it fits our timing now which we are currently on budget with our mountaining bills due.

Nyways it was a good steak-feasting dinner which is all paid-for. We had baked mornay & cheese oysters for appetizers; Hubby had this rib-eye steak & i had striploin...it was fabulous!! i suppose we were lucky & alhamdulillah we got generous givers hehe.. so our 1st month wasnt that too bad hehe..

and then we had yummy desserts too.. hehehhe

so till our next celebration.. hehehe (and i hope its a mini one la.. cannot afford la go fancy2 all the time right?)